Saturday, July 31, 2010
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Sports columnist Aaron McFarling: D.C. drama tops in NFL

This week's Q&A-Mac is brought to you by Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey: also proud sponsors of the Washington Redskins.

Q: So you're calling the Redskins the biggest circus in the NFL? Even now that Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco are together in Cincinnati? Even given the Dez Bryant shoulder pad-carrying dustup in Dallas?

A: 'Skins win. In a landslide. The Albert Haynesworth saga has become the most fascinating tale of anti-fitness since Homer Simpson donned a moomoo and purchased a dialing wand.

On Thursday, Haynesworth failed a conditioning test because he took too long of a bathroom break.

Then Friday, he failed again.

Can't wait to see the next installment today.

Q: Why are you so happy to see a guy get humiliated?

A: Because it needed to happen. Somebody, somewhere had to do something like this. Someone needed to stick up for common sense. Somebody needed to turn the mirror on Haynesworth -- and the selfish, delusional concepts he has come to represent -- and say, "Look at yourself. Really. Just look." Redskins coach Mike Shanahan did that using nothing more than a stopwatch, some cones and a little space. Beautiful.

Q: Will Haynesworth eventually pass the test?

A: Oh, he'll pass. Probably even today. I'm guessing Shanahan realizes he's made his point, Haynesworth will join his teammates and everyone will move on. But heaven bless Shanahan for making this point. It's a point -- and this is perhaps the most important thing to take out of this -- that Jim Zorn never would have made. There is hope for the Redskins yet.

Q: Early this week, the Hokies were voted as the overwhelming favorite to win the ACC title. Will they validate the vote?

A: No. They'll win the Coastal in a brutal, four-team battle with Georgia Tech, Miami and North Carolina. Then they'll lose to Florida State in the ACC title game.

Q: Buying those magic beans from Jimbo Fisher, are you?

A: Yes. Note the earlier praise for Shanahan. The Seminoles already had a proven quarterback and a terrific offensive line. They needed an improved defense, a little more discipline and a little more structure at the top. Fisher will bring all three. Big bump in fortunes for them this year.

Q: Clemson quarterback Kyle Parker turned down more than $2 million from the Colorado Rockies to return to Clemson this fall. Has he lost his mind?

A: Yes.

Q: That's it?

A: That's it. No more to say about it, really. Cray-zay.

Q: Fair enough. This week's PGA Tour event is actually within a reasonable driving distance of Roanoke, at The Greenbrier in West Virginia. Neither Tiger Woods nor Phil Mickelson is in the tournament. Is it still worth watching?

A: I was going to say no until Boo Weekley got in the mix.

Now that he is, two thumbs up. If you can't root for a pro golfer who once worked as a laborer in a chemical plant, well, you probably pull for the house in blackjack. A lot of people say they love John Daly because he's so "real." I get that, but I think this guy's even easier to relate to.

Q: The Tech-Boise State game on Labor Day will be broadcast in 3-D in some places. Intrigued?

A: Nope. And neither were most of the folks on my blog. "Rick H." probably summed up 3-D TV best: "I'm calling it right now . . . . fad, baby, just a fad, like bell bottoms, Farrah Fawcett hair, disco, you name it, just a fad."

Q: But you still like disco, don't you?

A: Only KC and the Sunshine Band. And any song that Rerun danced to on "What's Happening!!"

Q: If both were in their prime, who would win in a conditioning test between Rerun and Haynesworth?

A: Come on, man. The defensive lineman wouldn't stand a chance.

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